Heyy,

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Haaaaa.Mwaamwaaa!


Poor MyAshley.Her mother had to nag and gnaw and be a pain in e arse when she came back home 2 hours late.Ohno.The worst thing is that she mentioned about not allowing MyAshley sleeping over my apartment anymore.damn.Oh i totally understand.She's really not in a gd patch, infact, horrendous.so there's really nothing to be surprised about the awful things from her mouth.hah! Nonetheless, may things go smooth for them today and ohplease,oldman, stop being cruel and rest the case!


HAAA.okay, i shall not interfere in people's personal shit, but heck, MyAshley's tormented!


Btw, Myashley is Fatin.=) And I'm Mary-kate.heeeee.**prasaaaan. We've officially named ourselves ASHKATE. a lil of originality at least.haaaaaa.grrrrllthanng ya knowwww.


MyAshley sleptover at my place and we had a time of madness.Actually, i was the mad one. and still am.It was eversince dearest someone whom i now declare myecstacy called our cell.(I hope he don't read this.ah, he's aint interested anyway).Why ecstacy? he makes me roll in bed and on the floorr, crawl and get fcuken high and have my heart stabbed slowly,sing my heart out and dance and never know what i do,shout and shake my booty like a madmonkey,and talk like an idiot, gives me sleepless nights and i can like stare at the wall for years.and damn, i made a fool out of myself infront of myecstacy yesterday.Anyhow,thanks for driving me crazy and the chocolates and the heartmeltingsmiles and saving my life and oh yes, I loveeeeee the KinderBuenoooo! oh you're so addictive.


**pardon me for my raging hormones =)


OMG. what's all that supposed to mean?!


I am afraid of reality.so don't tell me.


Why does it have to happen between MyAshley,Myecstacy and Myself? oh so painful. I wanna tell it all to you but.................


Oh God knows.


okay, this is so painful and tormenting.I don't know where to start or end. what about my other two candies?? and now im hooked to another?!


I'm sucking the life outta myself.


Oh Tito dropped by to pass some papers. (thank you darling).Alhamdullilah, I'm promoted to sec 4 and take O'levels next year.I'm no more the top student,sadly and badly.have not seen the reportslip yet though but arghh, being the top10 pun jadddiii laaaaaaaaaaaa.I so have to buck up and start fucking the books hardcore all e way throughout schoolhell.



and whats new, homewrok and extra plus extraaaaa classes during HOLIDAY.


Bmybonbon,sorry about yesterday, being rude and ruthless and shouting like a maddog.thanks so much for the patience and faith.=)



MyLollipop,i hope you get well soon and pleaasee do!



Myecstacy,...........


ahh, i love Myashley.


I just don't know where to start or end.


crushed.Marykate=P

HanaJazzmanisVENUS
;Wednesday, October 26, 2005

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Hello!


I'm now using Nariman's laptop, which could also mean mine. hah! It's been long since I've updated.Didn't have the opportunity to use the computer.Am now at my new house, new room and hopefully a new better chapter of life ahead!


I'm desperately waiting for my room to be completely revamped with gorgeous lightings and accessories for companion when I have my beautysleep,lollygaggs,bumming around and laze arses,kickingbutts hellagooood time with my home girls and boys,punching my keyboard and elctronic games and fcuking whatever junks i have here in my room!-hah!


Oh btw, Nariman is staying with us here in our apartment.interesting?? okay, i guess only those who know whats going on will get what i mean.She's gonna be e one saving my arse when it comes to mama,extending curfews,relish with plenty time blissfully in my latenight hangouts and everything else.no matter what had happened and so much that we've been encountering,what's most significant is that she has an angel's heart.I thank god for her presence and may we be blessed, insyaallah.Nariman, my girlfriend and mother.=)


I'm finally awake and have come to my senses.God has been showing more of your true colours each day to wake me up and start making the right and better choice to treat myself right. I've been blinded from the start and i must now open my bigprettyeyes and heart to explore this beautiful world with plenty beautiful souls that has long been concealed.No matter how hot and talented you are in every way, no matter how long and plenty devotion and love (or so i believe) I've given all these while and how great you are at making my heart skip a beat and that i see you perfect no matter what you do, i guess everything has its limits and tolerance and it seems like you've done ample and too much to cause these outcome to my soul.I've wasted my years but i thank you for you've made me a stronger soul and realise my weakness and strength.


I'm over you.


Had been such a foolishlyidiot and extremely ruthless to myself.To myself, i wanna offer my greatest apologies and i gotta stop myself and others from tormenting you cause I love you and i know ure worth it.


I must admit life has never been easy for me in terms of financial,family,health,school and actually everything else.I know this is God's willandwants and tests and so insyaallah i hope I'll be able to overcome these obstacles and be a better person to me and everyone else.


Even though its fasting month, my lipids and cellulites are never demolished.they're such freaks and insist on being stucked to my flesh and skin.how stubborn!


I totally love my homegrrls and my homeboys.=)


ah shit, im still being striked by a dilemma, H?S?H? fcuk.


there's so much that i wanna share and if i go on, there'll never be an ending i swear! till then,

drained,
Hana

HanaJazzmanisVENUS
;Thursday, October 20, 2005

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its 0507am.


Had sahur. grim thing is that I'm like a moronic bird. I eat and then I'll instantly end up being in the loo groaning. It goes e same after i break fast too. It's wholly bothersome especially when I'm out of home! -urh.


Exams are over! or probably not exactly for me. I shld have just dragged my sickass to school and get over with the malay paper2 that day. And the quandary is that, people are skipping school and taking a break on Monday(some even wanna take a break for a week cause there's a markingpaperday for 2/3days , so there they go joyfully extending their vacation!-haha) while i'm here perturbed about whether the retake of paper is on that day.Extremely annoying and frustrating.I wouldn't wanna end up a.l.o.n.e in school while others are simply delighting on their bed!


People. if you know when is the day to retake e paper students missed, please be kind and inform me! thanks.


Oh btw, Chemistry paper, my classmates nearly died.-hãha! It was nerve-racking and I went restless upon looking at my classmates already sleeping and drooling with heads on table when i was like halfway done! No words can describe how worried i was and i thought i was freaking brainless and retarded.and heck! i immediately asked em if they really thought it was a piece of cake. and almost all replied" I nearly died doing the paper! rather give up and sleep than having to commit suicide!" -laffs!


Saturday it is. If only my bumm could be in elation.Guess not, instead, carry huge boxes, shift here and there, sweat like a pig and don't rest. on a saturday? dreadful? whatmore, fasting.-blueeehhhhh.bore war.


Oh yes, i wanna go Ikea to get some cool stuffs(not forgetting cheap!-heee) for my room. anyone up for it? to revamp ur room? or hari raya? hahaa.


Sometimes I thought im over you like totally and i felt daym good that i dont need you and that i definitely do deserve plenty more better.But when our eyes met, I end up in the same captivation that is the cause of my lifeless life. Fcuk.


But My future is just not you but the past and i gotta open my bigprettyeyes and heart cause I'll never know if it's felicity that i've alwys longed for. i was called inane and foolish and noone actually knew what happened and never will understand.I kept turning back when i was on my way out, andI've got to shut that down and treat myself right.I wanna break the spell you've created.Its now the beginning of my new chapter.


And i'm running.........


Love.
Honeey

HanaJazzmanisVENUS
;Saturday, October 08, 2005

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HanaJazzmanisVENUS
;Thursday, October 06, 2005

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My brother, Akmal and I. :))

Look alike??Not?? absolute engaging right?

I missed school today.Yes, sickbeyaatch.

I've got to retake the MT paper 2 next week and i'm now attached to my geography text. The paper's tmrw. Oh blessssss meeee.

I thought i've gt plenty to share. guess too much till run out of words and empty in mind now.blearghhh.

But one thing for sure, I miss painting the town red with all my friends and having kick ass time and laughing my brains out and .....

I miss EVERYTHING.

HanaJazzmanisVENUS
;Wednesday, October 05, 2005

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Finally, 5 hours sleep. :)

I'm now at Pasir Ris. It's been long since I've last saw my brother(same dad diff ma. still my own bro and not step bro right??).He's Akmal Danial and he's 2 years old. He's so fcuken cute and gorg la especially in red! He looks crossbred.Those big eyes and and fairsilky skin that resembles me! haha.I'll post his picture tomorrow and you'll know what i mean.We love kicking arse and laughing our brains out and jump and fall.never knew how it felt to be with siblings. and Surprisingly, I have a baby sister! -haha. I never knew about it till i came here.It's a she and she's Farah Nabila.still newborn.So anxious to know how she look's like when she's a lil older.Oh i love babies and toddlers. but All that she does now is sucking tits and cry and sleep.Akmal still rocks my goddamn socks!heh.And having sibling or papa having 3 kids ever crossed my mind.Hana has siblings! Oh well, it's still really not the same like having your own pureblood siblings ans taying with them.Hopefull its the "sofaryetsocloseatheart"kind of bond.Now I'm not the only BabyGhurl to Pa anymore!

English paper and Malay paper 1 were pretty fine but Social Studies? The paper nearly killed me!I instantly wanted to cry when we had to drop our pens.The essays are incomplete, my source-based questions are all rubbish and handwriting was a complete mess.I was so stressed up that every single strand of hair will fall off soon. whats so terrifying is that. this is only social studies and not bloodyMaths and Chemistry.Numbers and calculations and wquations are complete horror!

Tomorrow I'll be punching calculators and pulling hair at Fatin's place.I hope it's worth travelling to Woodlands from pasir ris.Self studying is extremely hard especially maths.I miss half the topics for maths and plenty for other subjects.that explains why I'm dying n struggling to learn em all bymyself!

Till then,
Hana

HanaJazzmanisVENUS
;Saturday, October 01, 2005

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I went to school with a pumpkin face.My eyes were swollen due to night weeping and I wasn't blessed to enjoy that moment of serenity i long for.Yep, something malicious and unkind happened but well, i won't comprehend it here.But Amazingly, I muddled through schoolhell without even feeling like murdering myself! nonetheless,whats new, I took a couple of hours of afternoon nap.The cookies and cream ice cream with bread made my day.:)

The Amazing Race made my eyes glued to the tv screen.This show is now one of my addiction besides One Tree Hill The Oc, VillaWellness,America's Top models,Fear factor and other reality shows.I love the thrill and especially having the chance to laugh my head off about their flaws and fcken humourous behavior.hah!

Tmrrow is my English paper and I'm not even preparing for it.I can only concentrate and study at night & in the wee early morning.People are probably delighting in their wettest dreams while I, burning the midnight oil.oh well!

From tomorrow onwards, I'll be staying at Pasir Ris till end of next week which is also end of my exams. I came to this decision to what had happened last night. I've got to stop tolerating and undergo spiteful occurance that i don't deserve. I've got to treat myself right and I've got to resolute to something best for me especially at this point time when I need to focus on my studies and not get distracted by disturbed emotions. For god's sake, its FYE. It's not easy to leave but it'll be temporary. The wound will heal.Ma, you know I'll never leave you no matter what you do or say that's malicious and cutting and especially deceptive.You'remy mother afterall.plenty love.

By the strike of twelve am, I'll be fcking the books and my favourite mini thesaurus and Macmillian Dictionary.WOW?

5more minutes to hellgate.

Till then.
Hana.

HanaJazzmanisVENUS
;Wednesday, September 28, 2005

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W.H.O

.Hana.
.130290.
.Aquarius.
.Music.ArtOfDance.Arts.
.Celebrities.Performing
.Beach.Tanning.Serenity.Giggs.
.Concerts.Partaaying.
.Bootyshakingg.Uncommon.
.Fashion.DollingUp.PrettyHunks.=P
.laughmyassoff.livinglifetothefullest.
.Learningaboutmyselfandtheworld.
.concealingmyvulnerability.
.todreamandbeinspired.
.drumsandelectricguitarsscratchinghypnotiseme.
.groovybeats that urge me to the dancefloor.
.family and friends.
.to pursue my dreams and encounter enraptured life.

Elly
Vega
PoohBearSha
B.a.D
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